The country is going through many stressful events at the moment, from the global pandemic to the election. It’s understandable that many people are feeling the strain in their relationships, too. Despite what popular culture may imply, even Silicon Valley entrepreneurs are feeling the stress. In fact, even though the stock market has largely bounced back from the March crisis, many high-income marriages are starting to dissolve.
Finances are a frequent cause of stress in a relationship, but they are far from the only reason. Differences in beliefs, habits, and personalities play just as large a role in many divorces. The current national situation is highlighting many incompatibilities that were not as pressing last year.
Compared to the same period in 2019, divorce rates for March through June of 2020 were 34% higher. This trend is no different in Silicon Valley or the Bay Area. Despite high-income relationships facing less financial stress than many, there’s more to maintaining a successful marriage than financial stability. In fact, financially stable couples may be more likely to divorce during times of economic distress than those of lower income levels.
Why People Get Divorced
Financial compatibility is just one factor in a successful marriage. There are several other aspects of the relationship that can affect whether a couple sticks together. The pandemic and other national circumstances are heavily impacting these relationship struggles significantly.
One common reason for divorce is a lack of intimacy in the relationship. When two partners are regularly able to go out and socialize with others, a lack of intimacy may not be a serious problem. However, working from home and spending all your time with your spouse can highlight a deficiency that you overlooked before. The pandemic has given many couples a clearer view of the intimacy they share, which may lead to a divorce.
The other side of intimacy is fidelity. If one partner is being unfaithful, the pandemic lockdowns may make it more difficult to hide the affair. Infidelity can quickly lead many marriages to divorce unless the cheating partner is willing to change their ways. In many cases, the only other option is to make concessions in a post-nuptial agreement.
Both the pandemic and election season may highlight communication problems in a relationship. Whether the couple disagrees on safety precautions or political issues, the national news cycle is likely to exacerbate incompatibilities that are already present. Spending all day together is just extra fuel on the fire, with neither partner able to quickly leave and cool down after an argument. This type of environment is a recipe for divorce for many couples.
Divorcing Amicably Despite Stress
No matter what is causing a divorce, it’s still possible to end your marriage with grace and speed. Divorcing amicably doesn’t have to mean that you have to remain friends with your former partner (though it can). If you’re stressed and unhappy with your soon-to-be ex, your priority should be an equitable divorce in as little time as possible.
There are several ways to keep your divorce amicable, even if you and your partner are at odds. The most important thing you can do is to work with a third party in some way. This help can be essential for working through conflict. It can also keep you from risking the same arguments that may have led to your divorce in the first place.
The most basic way to keep your divorce amicable is to work with a divorce mediator. Mediation involves working with an impartial third party to negotiate an equitable division of assets. You and your spouse will negotiate the divorce’s resolution, while the mediator will help keep the meeting non-adversarial. This strategy helps keep the divorce out of the court system entirely, potentially trimming your divorce timeline substantially.
If you do choose to go to court, then you and your spouse need to have separate representation. If both you and your former spouse have your own attorneys, there is little reason for the pair of you to interact. You can each speak with your attorneys individually, and they can work out the fine detail. There’s less chance for arguments to spark or emotions to run high.
Having your attorney represent you can also save you time. You won’t have to appear in court as frequently. Instead, you can focus on building your new life.
Finally, if you want to maintain your privacy and keep any disagreements out of the public eye, a private judge can help. Using the public court system leaves your divorce and any financial information as a matter of public record. On the other hand, a private judge can make all the same decisions and legal orders as a public judge. However, they do not have the same wait times or public record requirements as the general court system.
Using a private judge can take a significant source of stress out of your divorce. Instead of having to wait for the public courts and suffer publicity they encourage, you can meet on your own timeline with a promise of privacy. It’s much easier to remain amicable when you aren’t facing public scrutiny or wasting months on the divorce.
The privacy and protection offered by mediation, private judges, and separate representation are critical in high-value divorces. When the stakes are so high, an amicable divorce can save you time, money, and stress. During a time when high-income couples are more likely to divorce, understanding your options is more important than ever.
Divorce Can Be Simple
Even if the stress the country is facing has contributed to your divorce, the divorce itself doesn’t have to be stressful. In fact, it can be as simple as reaching out for the right kind of help. The first step to a low-stress divorce is reaching out to a qualified divorce attorney. They can walk you through your options and help you make the decision that’s best for you.